Random thoughts

It's been awhile since I wrote something. When I first started this blog I had a ton of ideas and topics I wanted to blog about. I've learned that I suffer from a serious case of writers block. I need to set an entire mood to write a blog posts. I need the right lighting, either a good tv show on or the right music. A bunch of sh!t that really shouldn't matter. But I'm posting today, so enjoy.

VACATION
I just got back from a lovely vacation in Aruba.

It was a much needed, long overdue vacation. We rented out a 6 bedroom, 5 bathroom villa and had a blast.  It was off da chain. We were the real world Aruba.

EXERCISE
Since I've returned from Aruba, I have fallen hard off the wagon. I cannot seem to get back into the routine. I picked the wrong damn time to lose my motivation. Its the beginning of summer. I'm going to regain my mojo quick fast and in a hurry. I need to preserve my sexy.

WORK
I am having a mid life crisis. I need a career change asap. I don't know what I want to do, but I want to stop what I'm doing now. I'm on a 1 year plan to find a new career. I cannot spend the rest of my life doing something I absolutely don't care about. I need to be doing something that I'm passionate about. Not just collecting a check. Don't get me wrong, collecting a check is nice. But collecting a check doing something you lover is nicer.


Stay tuned for my rantings.

When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

Yesterday, I returned to work after a short weekend getaway to visit friends in Florida. I was a little tired, but for the most part rested.  I had an early morning meeting to discuss our volunteer groups.  Some of the volunteers are a little persnickety. It comes with the territory.  However, I still have a job to do. I have goals to meet, projects to be completed, deadlines that must be met.  One thing I’ve learned through my therapy is that I get really agitated when people don’t let me get my thoughts out; or if someone doesn’t let me complete my sentence and cut me off. Unfortunately, some people at my organization seem to think that behavior is acceptable. Quite frankly, I think they’re a bunch of pricks who weren’t raised well.  A bunch of rude f*ckers.  But I digress.   In the meeting yesterday, I was soliciting feedback from my peers on how they’ve dealt with a variety of situations and I was continually cut off and overheard.  Listen folks, I can only take so much of that before I burst, and that’s what I did.

 The moment I was cut off, I kept it a little too real. I said some things to the effect of “well forget it, I’m done”, “what’s the point”, “nah I won’t be doing that” and the cru de gra was “I’m not a clown in someone’s circus and will not be jumping through any hoops for no one.”  That folks is when keeping it real goes wrong.

At that point the meeting was over for me. I shut down.  I was not receptive to anything else anyone was saying to me.  However, I immediately knew I needed to address this.   I sent a follow up email apologizing for my outburst and said I would do the best I could with the situation.  I had a heart-to-heart with my colleague about my concerns and we outlined next steps that I felt comfortable with. 

In the end I walked away with some lessons learned.

1. No meltdowns at work
2.  Follow up immediately acknowledging your actions and what you will do to address the problem in the future
3. Take a walk! Get out of the office to cool down. 

There are some things I look back on and wish I could have done differently. But I can't. All I can do know is realize it happened, move on and learn from my mistakes.

Anger Management 101

I've always been a little on the "high strung" side, but not until recently did I acknowledge my lack of anger management.  I liken myself to Bruce Banner when he goes from 0-60 seconds and turns into the Hulk. Or the little Tasmanian devil that tears up anything and everyone feelings in my path. TOTAL INSANITY. Not until recently did I recognize how my anger caused stress with building relationships and decided to change that.

2012 is the year of change. I've taken positive and necessary steps to work on my anger management and learning patience. It is not a cake walk. Everyday I'm being tested. Between the cocksuckers I work with, ex-boyfriend and even my dad, I feel like I'm always on edge and ready to explode. It takes a big person to walk away, and I commend those people who are able to do it easily. I hope to be there soon. Therefore during my anger management travels, work with me not against me. Notice the positive change I'm trying to make and embrace it. Its a humbling experience to acknowledge your faults in order to grow stronger and become a better person.

Peace, Love and Happiness.

Manicure Mania

My nail polish addiction has grown into another OCD hobby of mine. Just like couponing, I'm always on the look for the next fabulous nail polish. I follow several beauty/make-up blogs and often try to duplicate their works of art. As of November 2011, I own over 200 bottles of nail polish. Since then I've added more. I'll list out the brands in another post. For now, here are some pictures of my works of art.

I love yellow. And against this orange and my beautiful brown skin, its just pops.

Lately, I've been wearing the Sally Hansen Salon Effects. They are nail polish strips that come in a variety of cute designs. I'm finally getting use to applying them. These will probably be my go to for vacations. 

GLITTER! I love it I love it I love it! I used a base ruby red coat of red and applied some glitter on top. POW! I felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.

Splatter nails, I talked about this in My Addiction to Nail Polish post 

 Leopard nails. This was an experiment. I need to purchase nail pens to get the right effect. But that neon yellow still made them stand out.

Newspaper nails. This is done by using real newspaper. Its quick and easy to do. I found the How To on Lipglossipings blog. I think I'll do this again and try adding some color.

Cancer Is a Helluva Disease

A few weeks ago, I found out my grandpa had cancer - Stage 4 terminal cancer. It was a shock and a lot to handle. He had surgery, they removed a massive tumor and the outlook wasn't very positive.  Well this week at a follow up appointment, the doctor informed my family that his prognosis had changed. After being able to take a closer look at the tumor, they informed us he doesn't have stage 4 terminal cancer!!!  God is good. The cancer did not spread and if he has chemotherapy for a year, he'll be fine.

I want to thank everyone for their prayers. They were answered.

My Mom and Her Adopted Kids

In the past few years my mother has filled her empty nest with new children: Sam, Dave and Ginger. She spoils them more than she ever did my brother and I. I guess she's gotten soft in her golden years. I don't harbor any resentment or anger. As a matter of fact, I'm concerned. She talks, treats and clothes these kids like they understand her. I'm trying not to judge but its a little disconcerting.

Let me introduce you to the kids:

SAM aka Sammy. He's my favorite. Such a fun loving dog. He truly is mans best friend. What dog sleep under a blanket?

Sam is an old man trapped in a young dog body.

 
For some reason, Sam likes to *in my Evelyn Braxton voice* "Lay it low and spread it wide". LMAO!! The moment you start rubbing his chest, he falls into this position. It is very perverted.

DAVE is what I call a divo - a male diva. He is special and very spoiled, something akin to a mommas boy. He owns some of the most trendiest items in dog fashion. Check out his hoodie.

 And what about this puff coat?

Last but not least, Ginger aka The Queen Bee

Don't let this innocent look fool you, this "bitch" is a terror. She is hella sneaky. Don't leave any food, snacks, candy etc around because she will find it and eat it. She is smart and conniving. Last Christmas, she pissed on my new holiday purchases. I always have my eye on her.

Here is a Halloween picture of the kids.

Sam and Dave hanging out

I might talk about the dogs, but I love them to death. They make my visits home so fun. However, I told my mom if she gets anymore dogs, she will be officially titled "the crazy lady on the block with all the dogs".

Sh!t I See In West Virginia

My dad lives in West Virginia. My eyes come across some of the funniest, strangest, blank stare, WTF were they thinking...stuff ever when I visit. And sometimes my dad is the culprit. But this right here takes the cake.

A dead deer riding dirty on the back of car. How do you put a full grown DEAD deer on the back of your Honda Pilot and ride through town? I felt like the deer was looking at me saying "Help Me". My aunt and I did a double take when this car drove past us. We thought our eyes were deceiving us. But they weren't. I guess its deer hunting season folks. Happy Holidays