When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong

Yesterday, I returned to work after a short weekend getaway to visit friends in Florida. I was a little tired, but for the most part rested.  I had an early morning meeting to discuss our volunteer groups.  Some of the volunteers are a little persnickety. It comes with the territory.  However, I still have a job to do. I have goals to meet, projects to be completed, deadlines that must be met.  One thing I’ve learned through my therapy is that I get really agitated when people don’t let me get my thoughts out; or if someone doesn’t let me complete my sentence and cut me off. Unfortunately, some people at my organization seem to think that behavior is acceptable. Quite frankly, I think they’re a bunch of pricks who weren’t raised well.  A bunch of rude f*ckers.  But I digress.   In the meeting yesterday, I was soliciting feedback from my peers on how they’ve dealt with a variety of situations and I was continually cut off and overheard.  Listen folks, I can only take so much of that before I burst, and that’s what I did.

 The moment I was cut off, I kept it a little too real. I said some things to the effect of “well forget it, I’m done”, “what’s the point”, “nah I won’t be doing that” and the cru de gra was “I’m not a clown in someone’s circus and will not be jumping through any hoops for no one.”  That folks is when keeping it real goes wrong.

At that point the meeting was over for me. I shut down.  I was not receptive to anything else anyone was saying to me.  However, I immediately knew I needed to address this.   I sent a follow up email apologizing for my outburst and said I would do the best I could with the situation.  I had a heart-to-heart with my colleague about my concerns and we outlined next steps that I felt comfortable with. 

In the end I walked away with some lessons learned.

1. No meltdowns at work
2.  Follow up immediately acknowledging your actions and what you will do to address the problem in the future
3. Take a walk! Get out of the office to cool down. 

There are some things I look back on and wish I could have done differently. But I can't. All I can do know is realize it happened, move on and learn from my mistakes.