Bitchslap Heard Around the World

I come across some funny stuff on the world wide web. I'm a quasi email hoarder, which means I save EVERYTHING. Today in an vague attempt to clean my inbox out, I came across this video.

I hope you laughed as hard as I did. No man should ever get bitch slapped like this. Especially on video where people like me can continue sharing until the end of time.

Things that Grind my Gears

This post is homage to one of my favorite TV shows Family Guy, where Peter has a segment on the local news titled "Grinds my Gears" (http://youtu.be/dHtRnOXXZ0w). Here are a few things that grinds Ally's gears:

1. Chicks with chest tattoos. You know the kind that go across the top of your boobs. So not sexy.

2. Chicks who wear racer back shirts with regular bras. You look foolish and a hot mess. Invest in the right bra and stop doing gross injustice to those clothes.

3. Chicks who wear halter tops with regular bras.  See number 2.

4. Men in skinny/tight/high water pants. I think its unflattering to a man's build.

5. Bad teeth! If you have a paying job with dental benefits there are no excuses as to why you are walking around here looking like a damn piranha. Invest in your dental hygiene. Your mouth is one of the first things people notice about you. Make sure its memorable *snickers*.

6. People who use speaker phone on public transportation. I loathe these people. They are imbeciles who fit every negative stereotype I can think of. Uncouth individuals who are happy being lifetime welfare recipients and menaces to society (can u tell how much I dislike them?). This happened on a recent bus trip to New York. Thank god for earphones to tune these jerks out.

7. Men who wear cornrows. Listen fellas, there comes a time in ones life where your hair shouldn't be as long OR longer as the woman in your life. Also, you look like a damn fool.  No man should have the same hair routine as I (wash, blow dry and braid). You need to be at the barber in the chair, not at the African braid shop.

That's it for now. There will be subsequent posts about things that grind my gears. In the meantime what are some things that grind your gears?